Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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