Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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