Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
