My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
