my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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