just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
