worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize