He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
