He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
only you would photoshop your dick
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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