i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My vagina is officially offended.
You were trust falling into bushes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
