I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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