I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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