singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ttyl tear gas
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
