I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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