my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
