i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
