dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize