I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
too bad you live with your parents still
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
