I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
