the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize