There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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