i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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