At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
