For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Even my vagina gasped.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
