I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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