Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
