girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
