The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
