What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
