Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
