So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
