oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
