Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
