separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I AM VODKA MAN
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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