I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
