My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Who died my cat blue again?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
