He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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