I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
