dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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