This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
