I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
