He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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