just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
wat bout pragnant strippers??
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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