he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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