It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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