She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
