Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
