Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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