I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize