So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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