I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The air was thick with penises
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize