yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
