windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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