I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
