Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
