our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
