I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
