My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize