in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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