I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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